You're not the center of the Universe...(pt 1)

Wherever I go, no matter what type of activity I'm engaged in, I'm constantly bombarded with people who don't see me.  I'm constantly moving out of other people's way as they scurry about being self absorbed.  at the mall, at work, on sidewalks. In the airport it's the worst, but there I can cut people slack.  But seriously look up when you're walking and don't make me move out of your way. And stop teaching your kids it's ok to not look where you're going before bolting out of a store in the mall. Like a street, you need to look both ways before jumping out of Victoria's Secret into a crowded mall. It's common sense and common courtesy.


This leads me to another thing I want to teach my kid.  You're not the center of the universe!  Sure, right now, you're 99% of our free time energy and we gawk and coo over every sound and face you make.  But there will come a time, when you'll need to know, it's not about you!

 

Perhaps it's me just having a bad attitude about people, I hate crowds, it usually showcases the worst in others. Their thoughtless selfish behaviors. The people who litter in bathrooms because someone's job is to clean them anyway. People who cut people off in traffic. People who get into an elevator with two perfectly good hands and tell you what floor to push for them. Really? Did you just tell me to push a button for you? People throwing hissy fits when they don't get their way. People constantly seeking attention from others with cryptic facebook status' like "that was a close one!" in hopes that people will ask them for more details. 

I should be above it, but I'm constantly falling for these little annoyances. And constantly ignoring people who are trying to get mine or anyone's attention. I want my kid to know it's obnoxious and weak to constantly be seeking attention. EsPECIALLY negative attention. 

I want her to be aware of the world around her and not be one of those people that are walking around like they're the only one who's important and making other people constantly get out of her way. 

How do I teach her the balance of loving herself when I had such trouble with it growing up? I don't know how many times I changed to be like others just because I like someone so much and wanted to be more like them and less like me. Or how many years I spent doing what made me feel good and could justify the pain I could cause others. "I deserve to be happy, too!" 

How do I teach her to be concerned with world around her when I'm so annoyed by evryone around me.....I'm a terrible example. 

How bout if I start living like I want her to live? You know that whole actions speak louder than words thing. If I simplified the millions of questions in my brain it finally came down to a couple "should be" easy lessons. I might even be able to remember to repeat them to her in years to come. 

1) stop focusing on yourself to get others to focus on you. It doesn't work. 

2) focusing on others and not being so self centered is more attractive than a desperate attention seeking freak. People tend to NOT pay attention to you when you're like that. 

I constantly worry on how I can instill a natural and healthy self esteem to my daughter. I guess putting God in her life will remind her constantly that even though she'll never be the center of the universe, the one who IS thought she was important enough to send his son to die for her. 

I hope she fails to follow in my footsteps and loves herself without the many years it took me to find that balance. Hopefully she doesn't consume herself with trying to get people to like her that she doesn't see what's likeable about her. Hopefully she doesn't spend years avoiding God trying to make herself number one, because once I started remembering that I wasn't the center of the universe and remembered who was, everything in my life simplified and fell into place.I don't want her spending years like I did wandering in confusion wondering why she can't be happy.

And a lesson for me....perhaps instead of me being SO annoyed and overly consumed with the fact that people are constantly almost walking into me, I need to remember that chances are, they are a version of the old me, sad, lonely, grasping at anything that makes them feel like they have some control.  Maybe then I can teach my kid empathy.

Ok....I'll do it....

So for months now, I've heard numerous "you should blog" comments.  Sure, my e-mails are long winded, and I tell them way too much about my life, so I'm guessing that's why.   They're probably hoping if I blog it, I won't be writing it to them.  I understand.  Perhaps there is a population of people out there that have a need to hear my ridiculous rantings....

I really don't have a lot of exciting things that I've been doing these days.  I mean, I'm the happiest I've been in years, so of course that mean's my life is happily boring and perfect.  But the STORIES I have about life before I was happy is a smorgasbord of hilarious moronic behavior.  ALL cautionary tales filled with humor now, but of course at the time, painful as a paper cut on the eye.  Sorry, that was bad.  I'm still cringing.

So as I think, me "blog" i think, what could I possibly interest anyone with.  My days are filled with mundane activities.  I work, I go home, I work there, I go to bed and do it all over again.  I have a baby, who's nearing a year, and I've become that obnoxious person who posts pictures on facebook every day of my kid doing normal every day crap that no one's really impressed with...except maybe other parents, or women who's biological clocks are ticking, or grandparents who miss their own grandkids,  or who's grandkids are in that evil "i hate my family teenage stage."  But other than them, I'm probably driving my friends nuts!  

What would I possibly have to say that could be of any entertainment value?

How about incorporating my new happy life with the hilarious hi jinx of my old crappy life?  How about I add an even MORE fun part of it, and include things that drive me nuts about people....?


Thing's I'll teach my kid.


I could use a little twist of what I did wrong and how I hope to teach my kid so she's not an idiot like I was....as well as things that people do that IRRITATE me, and how I plan to teach my kid NOT to be like that.


Wish me luck. I intend to do this.  We'll see....